Caroline’s Housewife Guide

From Military officer in the Swedish army to housewife in Brazil may seem like a giant leap. It is. But there is an old adage I like to use; “anything worth doing is worth doing well”. So for the past 2,5 years I have been busy honing my skills as a housewife and finding ways to perfect the art. (I didn’t start from scratch, I had a perfect role model growing up who executed this job perfectly).

The result is a simple guide that I’d like to share.

1. Workout of the day (WOD)

Keep your body in shape the way your husband likes it so that you are pleasing for him to look at.

2. Laundry

As far as the husband is concerned, the laundry basket is as magical as unicorns and fairies. Whatever he puts in it ends up magically in his closet clean and ironed.

2b. Laundry room

While you’re at it, clean up the laundry room. The husband doesn’t need the added stress of a messy laundry room when he comes home.

3. Selfcare

A) Nourish yourself

Take a lunch break from your work. The husband wants to come home to an energised and happy wife. Not a cranky and testy one. And keep it healthy!

B) Stay groomed

You want to be perfect when you greet him after a long day at the office.

Take special care of unwanted body hair.

Highlight the features that he likes.

4) Have dinner ready

Plan ahead to have a delicious meal ready when he comes home to let him know that you have been thinking about him and that you are concerned about his needs.

5) Prepare yourself

Take 15 min to rest so you are refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just left an office and carpool full of work weary people. You want to be the opposite of that.

6) Prepare his haven

During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. The husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too! After all, catering to his comfort will give you lots of personal satisfaction. During the hotter months, put the AC on 30min before he arrives.

7) Eliminate noise

At the time of his arrival make sure there are no machines making noise. Turn of the  washer, dryer, dishwasher, children etc. (Btw, these chores should have been completed already….)

8) Clear away the clutter

Make one last trip around the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up toys, books, stray pieces of clothing and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

9) Be a little gay

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day at the office may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. (Sometimes we housewives get together for some “bubbly” before our husbands come home)

10) Prepare the children

Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), run a brush through their hair and if necessary change them into clean clothes.

11) A good housewife listens

Let him talk first. Remember; his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

12) Make him comfortable

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

13) When going out

Dress to please your husband. After all; you are his arm candy/trophy wife.

14) A good housewife always knows her place.

 

And that, my friends, is my tried and proven guide to being the best housewife ever.

Cheers!